10. The chronicle of 'M' word (part 1)

I was proposed to get marry with my citapa’s best friend 2 months ago and I agreed, but due to our compatibility wasn’t good, it was cancelled and I move back to my normal life. I was a bit sad at early but soon realized that there is nothing in our hand. We only can plan but HE will decide what best for us.

However, mom didn’t take it as easy as I’m. She starts suspecting me as though I’m having affair with the guy and avoiding her. God, I have no clue where she got such idea. Can’t she put a little bit of trust on her daughter? Today is none other days where she called and starts asking on distance of my house from citapa house. Mum knows the guy’s house is near citapa’s. God, sometime I feel fed up and being a victim of circumstances isn’t easy, plus with frustration cause by U. Why I have to stuck in between people who never try to understand me? Mom: stop suspecting as I’m the worst kid in the world and I swear, I have no affair with any guy!

Since from the ‘M’(marriage) word being posted on me, I feel sad, irritate and never ending frustration. There is time where I try to guess who is the guy that going to marry me at the end, where he is now and how he would be or would I ended being single forever? Even R1 and R2 nowadays, start asking me when I’m going to marry. But, the problem is, can’t everyone open their eyes and see, it’s not easy to find a life partner k...its really not that easy. For example let’s take U. Can U be him? Definitely not. The reasons are so obvious- he is rich (which I don’t want), he has big car/house or what ever property (which I don’t prefer), too educated for me (I’m not so, Malaysian education system is still low standard compare to India), he is a foreigner (I’m belong to here), different social life – he, high class people life style (me, my own style- there is time where I appear in public with just slippers and I don’t mind wearing it), he looks too old for me – plus with his huge tummy (I’m like college drop out girl, young, childish look) and last but not least, definitely I’m not going to be his taste! Low earning (compare to his $ dollar income). So, being optimist, I know who I’m, I kept myself from contacting U.

Your truly (24.03.10)