20. The chronicle of M word (Part 3)

again was in phone late this evening while cinama told me, remember the guy that we propose for you? the one got match with another girl? he wanted to think twice....wether want to marry her or not, coz she is 'FAT'!!!!!

(f'uck! what the hell is this-me, monologing within me, now can anyone out there tell me how this fat thingy become measure for marriage? so if you, marry a slim girl and after marriage, she become fat, you gonna left her and find another one and this thing going to repeat over and over? )



* i tried my best to let her know that, happiness in marriage is not based on physical yet how both of them adjusting, understand and live together. " cinama, gunnde, apedine pakethingge, oruvale, rombe nalle gul iruntha? orutha venggolode physical modum pothatu...."

hmmm, now don't you agree that i'm pretty good woman? even, i have to let the guy go, for another one, i'm still hoping that somehow he would be happy and for the poor gul too....nah, that me!

p/s: out of all this thing, i don't know why a good woman like me never able to find a life partner for herself but, want to see others living happily....again, that me i guess...

Your truly (31.05.10)

19. facing black period!

was been a while since i post anything over here...felt guilty, to go off just like that...franly speaking, i had that intention earlier....want to stop writting, leave this blog hanging..but, my inner tolds me that i should keep something, something the true of me....something that records everything of me, those that i can't share or tell others or neither do they understand them....shall in case i'm no more in this world, i know somehow, somewhere someone might reads this and at least will try to feel the same as mine....i was totally in problems, had problems and going to face lots and lots problems and i knw everyone too. but mine is always different, i always become victims of circumstances and do to some bad people around me....why i always feel that 'm so different from others??? why me?

in deep problem now and i don't see the solution yet....sometimes, i felt i'm too emo or some kind of moron....i just can't control my self, i mean my anger....why i was circle by those bad intention people, where are those good one? where are they, i want to be with them....can anyone save me?

shall i die of frustration, this blog is the a treasure (even, it don't seems to be one) at least for me....coz i just can find anyone that can read my mind or at least try to understand me....i'm pure and true...

your truly (31.05.10)