14. The Chronicle of M word (Part 2)

We tend to appreciate things better after we go through some lost earlier or face bad experience, right na? I used think why I never have a boyfriend or married by now. And after cancelled marriage proposal, I was heart broken at first but as time past I’m back to normal. But again, this question pop up again, why doesn’t that marriage proposal workout? Why it have to be cancelled? Is god trying to get me ready for future? I mean to let me appreciate the guy that I may marry one day?




Your truly (28.03.10)

13. Am I addicted?

I wanted to be in front PC (with internet connection) almost all the time...24/7. God, what I’m up to actually? Is this called addiction?

Your truly (28.03.10)

12. Alice in wonderland

Watched two weeks ago. Nothing so interesting to say about. If you seeking for a relax movie without much expectation, then this would be a good one or if you thinking how spend your weekend with your children, bring them to watch it in theater.
My rate: 3/5


Your Truly (28.03.10)

11. He

He is always disturbing my mind...
he is not so crucial to my life...
yet, memory of him is always there...
inviting me, to remind him...
again and again...

He make me feel excited to go to cyber cafe...
he make me smile infront pc...
he inspirate me to struggle with life...
even his memory made me felf anger towards him...
somehow he became the first one i think when i wake up...

he is the one i hate most...
he is the one ruin my life...
he is the one i hope not to meet again...
he is the one i wanted to be with in next generation...

to you my readers...
i pledge to try my level best not remember him anymore...
i wish his image will vanish from my mind...
let me alone in my own little world...

Goodbye U!


Your truly (27.03.10)

10. The chronicle of 'M' word (part 1)

I was proposed to get marry with my citapa’s best friend 2 months ago and I agreed, but due to our compatibility wasn’t good, it was cancelled and I move back to my normal life. I was a bit sad at early but soon realized that there is nothing in our hand. We only can plan but HE will decide what best for us.

However, mom didn’t take it as easy as I’m. She starts suspecting me as though I’m having affair with the guy and avoiding her. God, I have no clue where she got such idea. Can’t she put a little bit of trust on her daughter? Today is none other days where she called and starts asking on distance of my house from citapa house. Mum knows the guy’s house is near citapa’s. God, sometime I feel fed up and being a victim of circumstances isn’t easy, plus with frustration cause by U. Why I have to stuck in between people who never try to understand me? Mom: stop suspecting as I’m the worst kid in the world and I swear, I have no affair with any guy!

Since from the ‘M’(marriage) word being posted on me, I feel sad, irritate and never ending frustration. There is time where I try to guess who is the guy that going to marry me at the end, where he is now and how he would be or would I ended being single forever? Even R1 and R2 nowadays, start asking me when I’m going to marry. But, the problem is, can’t everyone open their eyes and see, it’s not easy to find a life partner k...its really not that easy. For example let’s take U. Can U be him? Definitely not. The reasons are so obvious- he is rich (which I don’t want), he has big car/house or what ever property (which I don’t prefer), too educated for me (I’m not so, Malaysian education system is still low standard compare to India), he is a foreigner (I’m belong to here), different social life – he, high class people life style (me, my own style- there is time where I appear in public with just slippers and I don’t mind wearing it), he looks too old for me – plus with his huge tummy (I’m like college drop out girl, young, childish look) and last but not least, definitely I’m not going to be his taste! Low earning (compare to his $ dollar income). So, being optimist, I know who I’m, I kept myself from contacting U.

Your truly (24.03.10)

9. Surround by narrow minded people

It’s sad when you meet almost perfect person ever but soon realize that he is a narrow minded. It’s same like a beautiful woman but a prostitute. Sometime, i just don’t get this type of person. They were educated, coming from good value family, good looking and etc yet, close minded.


Your truly (23.03.10)

8. Can change the question ah?

Do you ever encounter this? Where someone asks you to change the question when his/her answer for the question isn’t the correct one...that was what just happened. R2 was assigned with work as usual and when I told him that his answer was wrong, he instead of correcting it, requested me to change the question to suits his answer...haiyo nowadays kid, I tell you...where he got such ideas?


Your Truly (23.03.10)

8. Opppss...

was caught red handed by Mr assistant factory manager when i amusingly typing a post during lunch hour! Achoo...

Promise, I won't do it again...

Your truly (22.03.10)

7. What you think of me?

I used to like U, I mean for the positive things that he possess not for the other thing, mind you. But, that was a few months back. Now, I don’t know whether I should feel the same. As I told before, it’s a waste to show cares to the one who don’t deserve for it coz simply they wouldn’t know to appreciate it. Today B send me text message asking how and where I’m and how is my leg. I don’t think I want to carry on with this game anymore, I’m not going to play hide and seek as U, I rather to stand firm on who I’m. I don’t want to act or pretend to be somebody. I want to be myself. Yup, that’s me. The true of me. So, I had send him this as reply; ‘hmmm, I think you better concentrate on your life than mine. Sorry…’

I know it wasn’t B the one who wanted to know about me, but U. Now, why don't U contact himself? He always did this, use someone to know about others. What so difficult with contacting directly? After thinking for a while, perhaps U want to protect his social status, i mean he is a big man, how if a girl look down or cook up some stories...or he might thinks that he will lost his pride if he contact some tiny person.. For me, its very simple, if you feel so embrasse to contact me directly, its better you don't need to know how i'm doing. Why in the world that you need to use someone as your middle man..


Your truly (22.03.10)

6. Love

How should I react?

After last year incident, I tend to be more careful in showing my love, be it to small kids or adults. I don’t lavishly pour my love to who don’t deserve it. I may sound a little hypocrite but I know what the reason. Being naturally loving person, I used to show my love openly and later was hurt by person that I loved. Soon, I have learnt not to show my love to the one whom not going to return in the same way.

Indian love

Why Indian see status or property/family background in having relationship? I always have this question in my mind. Doesn’t everyone should know that the background/type of family we born – is all given by god? Did I ask to born as rich or poor? Of course not. Then why Indian sees girls’s/boys’s society status in love or marriage? Why people always reject the poor one as they don’t deserve to stand/sit same level with them? Aren’t all of us having same feeling? Just because she is bloody rich, can she reject a guy who loves her whole heartily? I feel like many Indians are narrow minded. Why people always thinks when a poor loves a rich, its just for the sake of their money. Well, not all poor is dread of others money, perhaps one or two. Is money/ society status is guarantee of everything? I don’t know. May be yes. That why people never change and this mentality will sustain for longer.

Your truly (21.03.10)

5. Year 2010

I know its way too late to wish happy New Year, anyhow who really cares? Guys, A very happy new year and I hope year 2010 will bring more happiness and joy. I started my year with lots and lots of crying. January was full with crying and high hope and finally something did turn my way. I found my happiness. Yay me! I thank god for his grace on me and everyone. Sometimes, critics would burn the fire in your to prove yourself. That is exactly my state right now, just sometimes laziness caught me. I would lost myself in own little world and when I’m back you can see the panic face of mine. Wake up! Even though last year was a tremendous twist in my life, I have enjoyed a lil and this year I hope for more. So, here is my simple list ever:

1. play bowling as much as I want


2. visit more place – vacation : all states in Malaysia and Singapore


3. buy laptop


4. buy car


5. read more novels


6. listen more songs


7. be more mature – tough one


8. reduce weight: 5 kg- another tough one
   
9. write better post, pull some readers


10. shops more


11. save more


12. register myself in a matrimony site (on august, not now) silly, I know
    
13. go more to cinema


14. hair and face massage – traditional + modern


15. get a good prize for my coming birthday

Ok, that’s it. Hopefully I wouldn’t struggle hard for them this time around, esp for no.4. Finger cross!

Your truly (21.03.10)

4. When I'm going to grow up?

After a terrific experience about 9 months ago, I came to appreciate life better than before, yet there is one thing that I could hardly change. It’s my short temper. I don’t know how to be diplomatic with others...especially with those lower subordinates than mine. Ok, don’t get me wrong here. I’m absolutely not the type that looks down on people or individualistic. But its kind of hard for to order or to get done with my job with rude, lazy and stubborn workers. Being a fast response and a lil perfectionist I always want the job to get done fast and with some sort of responsibility where you care on the quality of your job. So, whenever I have to work with the above mention type of workers, I just get tense, and at the end, ended up with fighting. Ok, I know how shame it is...when I try my level to not involve myself in such scene, people around me just right there to test my patient.

It’s not the very first time I would say. When I think back, I don’t know who to blame to...probably I should be more diplomatic with them. Huh! Why some people just can’t do what instructed or if you don’t know the purpose for particular instruction, ask someone to get clear picture instead of being so silly and rude? Talking about diplomatic, I remember of someone here...hmm lets give name as U.

U used to tell me this when I asked him, where in the world that he found E and appoint him as his factory manager: “what to do, velle agunum na, ore kanne mudikethe than irukunum” I don’t agree with this, how could you tolerate when you know even another hundred years the person not going to change and how could you take so much risk in putting your life/income in hand of such person? Only U knows the answer. If me, I rather correct my mistake than to go on with it, just for the sole reason that I don’t want people thinks I’m so cruel or incapable in taking decision...make sense? What I meant is perhaps U don’t want anybody thinks that he made mistake in choosing E earlier, and since he got his ego, of course he don’t want to show he made such huge mistake.

Being a chronic female I’m, I had done so many silly mistakes (excludes above mention), being so childish when its need my maturity, follow what my heart say instead of brain, react immaturely in front public people or love one and I’m sure you too right? But perhaps not as cranky as me. I don’t know when my silly decisions and acts will come to the end...

Your truly (21.03.10)

3. Why our past always hunting us?

Especially those things we aren’t want to talk, share or even to remind back. Why we always missing someone who don’t really care for us? We rarely think or rewind the memory with the one loves us but we tend to keep imagining on people that perhaps might never or less thinking on us...why it’s always happen in that way? Or if the person cares you in return, then one day he/she would be in the list that we rarely care and someone else will take over the empty space left earlier? Yup, exactly. It’s a process....when somebody didn’t return the care as much as you did, you become so intrigued, confused and keep asking why and why. If only he/she thinks of me right now, as I do....when I asked the same question to myself on and on....I found that it’s your inner feeling.

Now, what normally happen is we put too much hope on people around or close with us and whenever, we don’t get the same care or love, we feel disappointed. We feel as we were cheated or being fooled. My past latest 6 months experience has thought me alot, that’s was the period where I learnt something big...not that I have learnt nothing before, but something every twenty something girls should. And for the lesson I learnt, I feel a little regret, coz I am 25, its quiet late actually but “better late than never” na? So, somehow I struggled and managed to overcome on my own way. Since sharing is caring, I would like to give some free advices: take life in easy way, put less hope on people around you and expect for the unexpected!

Your truly (21.03.10)

2. It's her Birthday!

Today, mom reach 48 years old. I would like to write a post on her but don’t know where to start with. Hmm.... If you ask me, I would say my mum is one of the best moms in the world. I’m not saying this since everyone would say so, but is a fact that she is indeed a good mom. let me list out some info on her:

1. Best hygiene person ever- Scenario 1: she sweep floor every 5 hour/6hour or anytime she saw dirt (I still remember one of incident during my teenage age: It was my turn to sweep our house floor that day and I was called by mom when I was almost done. To my surprise she swept back the area that I had already swept earlier and showed to me how to sweep better. Huh, nah you see) scenario 2: when I went back hometown recently, I told her this: mom, the house is already clean, why we have to keep sweeping? LOL


2. Good friend –this one, she is trying to...she use to be the very aggressive mom once a upon time but nowadays, she is our good friend...esp to lil sis


3. Hard worker- she is highly inspired/motivated person- she don’t have to read motivational books or even attend any motivational course, she herself is a good example of it...she inspired me too


4. Good money saver – ya and I got that character from her


5. As years pass by, I was surprise with her response to everything happen around her, how relax and calm she is, I hope I have the same patient


6. Damn good cooker, ya and she is my mom, I think everyone would say so, kind of magnificent!

TADA! I’m done. Maybe there are more but these are what I could jot down for time being.

Can figured anything?
We (lil sis, lil bro and me) use to act as above when we were small, we presented mom whatever we manage to get with our saved school pocket money. They could be candy, delicacies, cards or anything. And due to some issues, mum and I aren’t in line right now and I didn’t send her any prize this year as I always did. I’m feeling guilty but sometime, people appreciate you better when you aren’t always by their side. Weird? It’s 100% true...trust me.

Whatever it is, I love you mom....there is no one than you that I love most! “Happy Birthday, may god bless you and give you happier life’’

Your truly (15.03.10)

1.0 Halo

Halo everyone, its me, kanaga. The purpose of this blog is mainly as a void to record my daily life. I hope whoever comes about to this blog of mine, may keep whatever written for their own benefits. I'm not sure wether you may interest with my blog or not, but i'm sure you will learn something through it...with that hope, meet you in next episod.



Your Truly (15.03.10)